Marvelous Work and a Wonder® Testimonials

Hi! My name is William.

Throughout my life, not understanding the truth about myself or others, I made many unwise decisions that not only hurt me, but hurt others as well. The things I’ve learned (for free) through the Marvelous Work and a Wonder^® have empowered me, finally, to take charge of MY life and MY attitude. No religion could have helped me find self-worth and be happy like this work. This is my story:

As a child, I was quiet and a big reader. I liked to play quietly by myself. My brother was introverted like me and we enjoyed playing computer games and going on bike rides. My parents separated when I was 11 years old and divorced when I was 12. When my parents divorced, I punched a wall and broke my wrist. This was my first experience with anger. All I knew was that anger was a feeling that I never wanted to feel again. I realized that I could hurt myself or others.

Not understanding where that anger came from, my own responsibility, and the actual purpose of this life, I continued to make decisions in my life that would cause me to postpone really understanding and dealing with the anger, depression, and anxiety that I got from this world and my imperfect parents. I distanced myself from reality, and my own emotions. I even thought that I was autistic at some point, because my own thoughts and emotions were so out-of-whack.

The lyrics to these songs remind me of my situation:

• “True to Yourself” by Ziggy Marley says, “If you don’t deal with it, it keeps killing you, little by little…”
• “Momma Used to Say” by Hepcat, “Momma used to say, Boy don’t run away from your problems. If you face them you will see, you’ll always find a way to solve them.”

Growing up, we were exposed to different churches with each of our parents. My mom investigated the LDS church. We (her kids) were given the choice of what church we wanted to join or be a part of. Mormonism had actual answers about life and the afterlife, which was reassuring to us, and seemed to make more sense than the other couple of Christian churches we attended with our dad. But nobody pressured us in any way. When my brother was eight and I was twelve, we chose to join the LDS church. We felt good about that decision and made it without any pressure.

The LDS church was a good fit for my mother, in part because she hated drugs and alcohol so much. She had been raised by an alcoholic and chose to never let go of her own resentment about that. She was extremely angry and upset and judgmental about any kind of addiction. It was very rare for her to have any close friends. Because of her upbringing, she became paranoid and upset even at the mention of drugs or alcohol, seeing no distinction between one beer and being drunk. This was her attitude.

I was accused a few times by her of doing drugs, when I actually wasn’t. I was a good kid. When I was in junior high, high school, and into some college, I played the trombone. This was my favorite part of school and kept me motivated. The arts are important for calmness and creativity. I was in ska band, marching band, and jazz band. However, I was sheltered more than I should have been and I was not exposed to adults and social situations like I should have been. I had to sneak out of the house to go to band practice and shows. No human being should isolate themselves from others, because they hate and judge other people for their actions, as my mother did.

When I was about 16, I began to feel the weight of the world cascading in: “What job am I gonna do? How am I gonna work full time like my mom preaches? How am I gonna survive if my bosses treat me as shitty as my dad treats me as a boss, paying me $5 an hour when he said he would pay me $10 an hour?” My mom told me not to be a teacher and to get a full-time job with benefits. With all of this pressure, I began to experience migraines.

As a migraine was about to come on, I would get this weird sensation of thirst that made me feel extremely thirsty, no matter how much water I drank. When that happened, I knew it was already too late. These were pre-symptoms of it coming on. I felt powerless and hopeless as the migraines were about to take control and there was seemingly nothing I could do. It would take a few days to get back to normal after the migraine episode.

I didn’t know anyone personally who struggled with migraines. Most people I knew in this world had pretty decent health and seemed to wake up in relatively good shape. They seemed to feel okay going about their day, like a normal human being. They would take care of their responsibilities, and then they would spend some time having fun.

My Dad could eat absolutely whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted, and still work 60-70-hour weeks, with tons and tons of energy. It was baffling to me. He was more than twice my age. You can bet that I struggled with a TRUCKLOAD of anger and resentment after observing these realities in my world.

Anyone who has experienced migraines knows that they hit you during the stressful times. No boss wants to hear that you (their employee whom they expect and rely on) have a migraine during a stressful period at work. That’s the exact time when your boss needs you the most! So, I basically felt useless and hopeless in this world. No wonder I rejected this world and almost killed myself!

My limitations consumed me. I would wake up feeling terrible, both physically and mentally. It took me a few hours to feel normal after waking up. Coffee, of course, was forbidden as a Mormon. And I slept for a very long period of time. I would need 10 hours of sleep or more in order to feel semi-normal. Something was deeply, deeply wrong.

One time in college, I started doing summer sales in Kentucky, and I dived into that, enthusiastically, with tunnel vision; I forgot about everything else. I didn’t take any thought for any of my health problems. All of a sudden, one day about two or three weeks in, I suddenly came down with a massive migraine and floater in my vision, in the middle of the work day. (If you don’t know, we’re talking about a floater the size of a pencil appearing in my field of vision. This prevented me from driving, thinking, and functioning. The only thing I could do at that point was sit on the bathroom floor in the dark.) Embarrassed, I had to call up my boss (who was also my friend, thankfully) and have him take me to the nearest chiropractor for an emergency appointment. It felt completely ridiculous and terrible and absurd.

When the migraines began, I started seeing the chiropractor. I often went once or twice a week. You can imagine how much money that cost me as a poor college student, and how having to do that filled me with despair and confusion. Furthermore, deep tissue massage work and chiropractic required another person to constantly be around me, in order to give me that treatment. It just wasn’t realistic or practical as a long-term solution.

Additionally, the chiropractors whom I spent thousands and thousands of dollars on in order to get some temporary relief from the terrible migraines, seemed to have very few ideas. They were scratching their heads trying to figure out how I could permanently get over this problem and stop these horrible headaches from happening for good.

Meds didn’t work; doctors had no clue. The problem with meds is that I could tell that they would take a terrible toll on my mind. They basically shut down my brain. That sounded even worse and scarier than the migraines themselves. It felt like suicide was a solution. That sounds horrible, but I was literally living in hell because of this problem. I was unable to contribute to society and unable to work full time.

If a person does not have their health and, therefore, cannot work—because their health is so poor that they are prevented from working—how on Earth are they supposed to get the healthcare that they so desperately need, in order to get their health back, so they can return to work? It never made any sense.

Also, my own mother was proud of the healthcare “coverage” that she earned with her full-time job that she was so proud of. Yet she hated doctors and never used them herself, and never listened to anything they had to say. She never listened to any common sense or anything that anyone had to say. She would get angry if anyone made a suggestion to her about what she should do. I learned to keep my mouth shut and bottle up everything.

Having no positive masculine or feminine role models close to me in my life, I hated myself for not being able to conform to the world’s expectations and ideals of masculinity.

I almost changed my name because, at the time, I felt that my family did not care about the truth. The dude whom I was named after, died when he was about my age. He was a lawyer (making obscene amounts of money, per hour!!) and he lived a very unhealthy and unhappy lifestyle of smoking cigarettes, drinking, eating poorly, and not exercising enough. He was in the middle of several large deals when he died. He was married, conforming to all of the expectations of his era. Do you think I want to have anything in common with some unhappy dude—to have that as a part of my legacy?? To have that as part of my name??

I became a victim. I never had a steady job, I just bounced around from job to job, until I got fired due to my own lack of effort. I had a bad attitude about work in general. Most of my former bosses can testify of that fact. Why would I have a good attitude about these jobs that would never give me enough money to ever live independently and pay my own rent? What hope was there in that? Sales was actually fun and interesting and empowering, but it wasn’t the best for long term. Growing Grounds was fun because I got to water plants, weed plants, and pick them out, staying active.

During all of this, I was having other experiences. As a teenager going to Seminary, I had a full-body spiritual experience after reading the Book of Mormon. I just felt so strongly that if people understood that book, we could change the world! The truth is, I didn’t understand it myself. But at least I was interested in the truth.

When I was 19, I went on a mission to Quito, Ecuador. I was a devoted missionary and enjoyed the feeling of importance. I loved learning Spanish and being around a different culture. The people seemed so happy with so little; it was amazing. People get around by riding together on the bus and they see their neighbors a lot more there.

After my mission, it was very hard for me to transition back to “normal” life. I studied business management at BYU-Idaho, where I met my wife at an improv comedy club. Our marriage lasted around seven years before we grew apart. Regrettably, as our marriage was emotionally disintegrating anyways, we both chose to pursue a polyamorous lifestyle for a little while. The memories and experiences of that made a lasting impact on me and remind me of the power I have, to either help or terribly hurt others in my life, through my own actions and attitudes.

I had SO many questions that perplexed me and confused me and twisted my mind into literal knots before I found the Marvelous Work and a Wonder^®. I felt cognitive dissonance, confusion, and madness. In this state, is it any wonder that I was unable to be there for anyone? I couldn’t offer any words of encouragement or support to another human being. I was barely hanging on myself and living in a literal hell on earth. Nothing I achieved academically helped me with my own personal hell. No bishop or religious leader was able to give me any lasting or meaningful comfort or advice. No one in my family, obviously, had a clue.

“Conform, conform, conform or die!! Eat more meat, even though it harms you. Don’t live with your parents. Make a ton of money, so you can appear to be happy. Get a nice fancy, expensive car. Get an education so you can make more money. Don’t think about inflation. Don’t think about terrorism, except for thinking that those people are evil.” Those were the messages I got hammered into my head over and over from my culture. Is it any wonder that I’m not proud to be a white American male?

What part of those instructions contains any shred of decency or humanity?

Is it really a surprise that I believed that race, culture, and family is all BS? We’re all just equal humans. Anything else is stupidity.

Nothing that I tried worked or had a lasting impact, until I read The Sealed Portion and started listening to Christopher’s free podcasts in 2013. Two pieces of information—if you don’t read or try, you’ll never know.

I found The Sealed Portion while living with my in-laws in their basement at a low point in my life. I had just been through an apartment fire. I googled it when I was at a very low point in life, on the wrong track, trying to fix my health and my mind with all kinds of crazy techniques and desperate methods. I could name them all, but it would just bore and confuse people.

Upon reading The Sealed Portion, I recognized Moroni’s voice and read the book in a frenzy overnight. It sounded just like the same style of writing and ideas as the Book of Mormon, only developed further. It was amazing. I told my wife “I think we should leave the church” and she agreed. She also read The Sealed Portion with a greater interest than I had seen her read any scriptures before. It made sense. Although we didn’t do it in the most kind, friendly, and respectful way, we finally started to take control of our own minds and hearts.

Two verses in the Book of Mormon have radically changed my life. One need only ask me what verses those were. The Sealed Portion, 15:62, 65, 66 and 87:45, 47. I would encourage anyone to just read the books for themselves. Each book has something important to offer. What matters to me might not matter to you.

After my divorce, no one seemed to see any value in me in this world. I was living with my mother (something that the USA culture looks down upon) and I would escape into video games. I did this for so long, and was so absorbed, that I would get up from my computer and have no idea whether it was day or night. I didn’t know whether I had been playing for four, eight, or 12 hours. I would have to look around to see what time of day it was—if there was sunshine or if it was completely pitch-black dark outside. Who knows? Until one day, I quit cold turkey, because my deep voice within told me that video games would destroy me.

I finally chose a career that would get me mocked in this world. It’s a career based on something I learned from The Sealed Portion and the happiness I felt after my divorce, when I bounced around to different people’s couches, when I was babysitting for different family members. I loved spending quality time with the kiddos. This left a lasting impact on me as I reflected on my missionary experiences and the time with the kids and what truly brought me happiness in my life. “What were the happy times, really? Not just the temporary band-aid happiness, but the truly happy times?” It was the child’s perspective. I enjoyed playing soccer with the kids in Ecuador.

I have been mocked to my face for what I have chosen to do. But it was much harder for me to overcome my own self-doubts than it was to overcome the doubts others may have had in me.

Why not become a teacher? Those who say that, don’t realize that I was raised by a teacher, and everything I learned in school (even though I was an “A” student), was worthless to me and everybody else as a human being. What I learned from society and school only led me to being suicidal from the age of 16 to the age of 34. I was the quiet kid in the corner, with no thoughts of my own, nothing to contribute, nothing to say, and no opinion. This was only a pathway to disaster. That’s no way to exist as a human being. That’s no way to be happy. The ONLY thing that ended my suicidal thoughts—got rid of them, for good, along with migraines and fatigue and other health problems that I struggled with my entire known life at the time, was the MWAW and it’s free information.

Since then, I have slowly learned to see the beauty in life. I find peace in taking my medication as prescribed. I don’t see myself or anyone else as an introvert or an extrovert. We are all just equal human beings, and I understand how many friends each of us has in our real world.

My friends have done so much for me. I have been able to do a little for them, too. I can feel the beauty of the wind on my skin. I enjoy being active and I enjoy my quiet time. I am truly grateful for where I live and all of the wonderful opportunities than I have. I understand why others feel the need to escape into their screens and I have compassion on them for that.

I used to want everyone else to be a positive influence on me. Now, I want to be a positive influence on others.

I live a wonderful life before work, and sometimes after work, too! I go bodysurfing. I don’t hate my boss, or the CEO, or anyone that I work with, even those who dislike me or those who don’t even try! I treat them with respect and kindness, overcoming the frustration, seeing the humanity in them. I want to make my enemies laugh, if I can. That’s how I turn enemies in to friends. This work is the only thing on Earth that teaches and promotes that, and that’s a sad reflection on this world.

I’m passionate about cooking, And I’m passionate about eating raw. I’m passionate about art. I love my hobbies. I don’t care that my dad asks me for money. I tell him what I can and cannot do, and I continue to love him for who he is. With boundaries and respect. I feel grateful for the peace that I enjoy. Yes, I have ups and downs, and sadness at times. But I understand suicide, depression, anger, anxiety, sadness, loneliness, marriage, relationships, and I’ve made my final choice.

I sleep better than I’ve ever slept in my life. I used to have back problems that required expensive mattresses, even as a college kid. Now, I can go camping and sleep on a cheap foam pad on the floor in a sleeping bag without any issue. I can do more than 20 pushups in a row. Mentally and physically, I am at my prime, which is a totally unexpected consequence of religiously applying this work. I enjoy camping and nature and friendships like never before.

I’m not trying to be a part of anyone’s special group. I’m not trying to make my own family. I just want to be accepted as an equal human being. That’s it.

My female friendships mean a lot to me. Those people have taught me a lot about caring, compassion, listening, and community. I would never want to hurt the women who I have had the privilege of getting to know. They are wonderful human beings who deserve respect, like all human beings do.

Christopher never treated me in any way as though I was someone special. Never. He treats other people fairly and equally. The only thing he ever told me was, “Do what makes you happy.” That’s just humane, common sense, supportive, and a nice thing to say.

I will never again tell another person that they are special. My biggest regret in life is wanting to be seen as “special.” This wanting caused me more heartache and grief and pain than anything else I could possibly imagine. The people closest to me know that I don’t put them on a pedestal. I will, instead, appreciate people for the unique qualities that they bring.

That’s my story. I’ve read and continually re-read all of the books of the Marvelous Work and a Wonder^® and they have answered all my questions about religion! The Humanity Party^® has answered all my questions about politics. Not once has Christopher or anyone else asked me for money for this information. It’s about seeing the world in a better way and improving things for people equally, without taxing someone extra or putting anyone down. It truly is a Marvelous Work and a Wonder^®. The solutions are simple and so possible! :)

Even if you don’t give a crap about anything I have written, at least read the suicide book so that you can understand why so many people on Earth, including many of your own loved ones, have those feelings and what you can do to be a positive influence on them, and help them to overcome those feelings. It’s your choice ~

Take a stand, or sit on the fence.

William Miles Trueman

805-602-7827

Williammilestrueman@gmail.com