Marvelous Work and a Wonder® Testimonials

So, for a while I’ve not known what to share about my life and why this work is now important to me every day.

Am I willing (or should I?) share the many things that made me hide, deny, listen to others, be part of a group or religious mindset? BASICALLY, share why I acted the way I acted?

I know I don’t have all the answers, but where I’m at now, even as I write this I’m still learning.

So here it goes….

I was raised on a dairy farm ‘til I was 14 years old in a small town called Carey, Idaho. I was brought up in the LDS faith and went to a school that was K-12th grade. I had the normal child experiences of play, doing chores, making friends, having fun, fighting my other five siblings, and even experienced the effects of being bullied by others and retaliating in the same way.

When our farm went bankrupt in late 80’s or early 90’s (not sure exactly what year), my dad moved us to Challis, Idaho to a singlewide trailer that belonged to my oldest sister’s husband. I remember the well not working and having to live without water at times. We had to get water from a natural spring, shower at school etc. It was difficult being a 14 year old who, for the first time, was told by a friend that a boy thought I was cute. I remember genuinely being shocked that a boy thought I was cute!

I think it was because I had bad teeth growing up, and my parents were poor. I’m sure there were other reasons, but no matter, it was cool to hear. I remember that boy, beet-red-faced, asking me to be his girlfriend and I said, “Yes.”  It was funny though because we hardly said much to each other; we just held hands and kissed once in a while, but it didn’t last long. I was looking at other boys who also thought I was cute. 😊

It wasn’t ‘til I was 16 that I had a real boyfriend where the feelings of love and attraction were there. That’s when sex, drugs, and rock and roll came into my life. I then became the adolescent brat of wanting it my way, and I didn’t care about anything but what I wanted. My boyfriend stole from a clothing store and went to jail/ prison for over six months (he was 19), and I ended up in “Juvey” for stealing a car with a friend trying to run away, because my parents were moving to Utah and I wanted to stay in Challis.

Before this time, my dad was on this spiritual journey and would leave my mother alone to take care of four teenagers, one being a friend to the family. This left us with a lot of anger towards my dad because we just saw him leave for his own interests and leave the hard work of providing, to my mother.

My dad met a couple who lived in Sterling, Utah who were willing to let him stay with them. That’s when my mother decided to move with him and leave Challis. I moved in with my middle sister who also lived in Challis, and my younger brother moved in with my grandparents who lived in Carey, Idaho. My mother said it was the hardest decision of her life to leave her kids and move with my dad. She knew where they were going wasn’t stable for us at the time.

So there I was living with my sister, going to school, making up grades that were messed up from my Juvey stint, and waiting for my boyfriend to get out of prison. I was loyal to him. He was my first love, and I even wrote a song about “First Love” years later. He cheated on me the first day he got out of prison, which soon after ended the relationship.

My sister eventually wanted me out because I wasn’t obedient to her rules, and I had to move in with my oldest sister and her husband who lived in Shoshone, Idaho. At this point, my younger brother moved to Utah with my parents again.

I wasn’t sure what to do with my life because I knew my older sister didn’t want me living with her family. One day, I asked my middle brother (who was also living in Shoshone ) what I should do? He said that he felt I should move back with our parents. I felt it was good advice, so that’s what I did. I then moved to Utah.

I need to mention that while I was in Challis, I played with a Ouija board. It seemed to work for me. In time, I did not need a board, and was just be able to write things down, and eventually use my body in ways that directed and communicated things. It seemed evil but that didn’t stop me. It seemed like it was a real thing happening and not just me pretending.

At one point, I thought I was talking to God. I was told there was no Jesus Christ; I remember thinking it probably made God sad that Christ, Christmas, was celebrated but not God (whoever I thought that was). I didn’t feel like this “God” said all truth and it concerned me, because I was just starting to wonder about what life was about. I remember sharing with the lady we were staying with in Sterling, UT about my experience and all she said to me was “There is a God of Light, and a God of Darkness.” I knew I had to be talking to the God of Darkness, so that’s what started my own spiritual journey.

After studying some of the scriptures, I felt I needed to repent. I found a secluded area on a hill and poured my heart out about all my sins. I then asked in a prayer, “Am I Forgiven?” and I felt the answer “No” and I pouted all the way down the hill…

I shared with my dad that God wouldn’t forgive me. My dad said that sometimes you need fruit meet for repentance, and I needed to prove to God that I was going to change. So I started going to the LDS church again; I was 18 or so at the time, and I was a sponge soaking up as much learning as possible.

At the age of 19 or 20, I did visit my friends in Idaho, and even saw my first love again. I remember he wanted me, and I had to shut him down, because I was trying to be pure and righteous. I told him, “I want to be with a righteous man.”

He said, “I am righteous.”

At that time, I was thinking of a Man who could help me get to the Celestial (Highest) kingdom of God. I just felt I couldn’t go back to him at that time, and I remember driving home from Idaho like I made the right choice.

As I was driving home from that trip, I started to feel this overwhelming energy of love, to where it felt like I was breathing it in. I kept asking, “What is that? What is this overwhelming feeling? Is it coming to me from somewhere, or someone else?” I really looked at it innocently asking why I was receiving this energy of love?

I had some dreams of Jesus that would confuse me over the years, because I felt lots of love for him, even in the dreams. I loved the New Testament the best, of all scriptures. I felt like Mary Magdalene, who was forgiven for all her past sins and I felt gratitude and love for Jesus. I felt so much devotion and love that sometimes it consumed me. I felt and asked all the time if there was a reason for this strong emotion. I also persistently would say I didn’t want to be deceived to think maybe I was Mary Magdalene in a past life, because I knew other women who felt that same love. Past lives were hinted at among the people I was associating with at the time. All I can say is the energies I felt were beautiful and yet would dim out because I had life to live, and I didn’t want to live alone all my life just loving Jesus…lol

My parents and I became friends with a couple who lived in the Sanpete area. This couple seemed to have an awareness of things that other people didn’t have.

At that time, we also were studying plural marriage. I did feel this attraction towards this guy (who was 20 years older than me) because he opened my eyes to a new awareness that fed my desire to learn. He reminded me of a modern-day John the Baptist, because he would do rebaptisms. There was mention of “who” he was and no one would tell me. So, I asked in prayer and a name written in light appeared in my mind. The name was confirmed after I received it on my own. One day, my parents said they received a feeling that I was to be married to him…I rolled my eyes like “whatever.”

Then in time. his wife did come ask me to be part of her family. I was dating a guy at the time so I said no. When the guy I was dating didn’t work out, I broke it off. I then felt to say yes to being with this couple. I did feel love towards them.

At the same time as this was all happening, I was wanting and working towards going to the temple. I didn’t share everything with the Bishop or anyone about my personal associations, because I wanted to protect those I loved. So, at the age of 21 I was able to go to the temple. I didn’t understand the temple endowment, but I felt love and peace from the experience. It did seem sneaky of me though, because I knew if the LDS church found out I was entertaining the idea of plural marriage, I would have been excommunicated.

Things didn’t run smoothly when it came to plural marriage. It was very difficult. I really believed in fairness, but understood my place as a plural wife. Yeah…it didn’t last long. It was Hard! I said to myself: It’s like the first wife wants me out, but won’t tell me to get out, but will make it like hell so I leave on my own accord, so she can say I left; which I did. I had enough walking on eggshells, and being told my place. Not that those words were said, but only felt, probably because of my own insecurities of feeling “less than.” I felt I had to prove myself all the time. I could tell they had gifts I didn’t understand, so I felt like I wasn’t as close to God as they were. I was in and out of a relationship with them a couple times after I left, because I still felt there was a love and deep connection with them.

During a time I wasn’t with them, I started to date again; I was trying to move on. I ended up returning to some old ways because of some depression and had sex again. I was 24 or 25. I did confess to a Bishop when I felt bad for my actions. I was just trying to be with someone that maybe could possibly grow into marriage, but it didn’t work out. I was disfellowshipped because I’d previously been to the temple.

At age 25, I ended up buying a small home and remodeled it. I had a close friend whose husband would help me with drywall and stuff. They had a little boy who couldn’t say Krystal and would call me Kookoo. So ever since, I’ve been Aunt Kookoo from family and friends… which suits me just fine. 🙂

My last attempt with this couple at living plural marriage (#3), he said we were pegs and squares. I agreed more in my heart, but in my mind I did try. I don’t blame him for saying this. I just felt there was more and how can we assume we were living a celestial law and become a God someday if we can’t accept and consider the whole world. I used to think “I feel sorry for God if this small group is the only ones saved when there is a great big world out there.”

I was 28 and decided to move to Brian Head, Utah, a small ski resort by Cedar City. I lived there for three years. I night-managed condominiums and had an apartment there. I also cleaned rooms for a hotel and eventually started my own cleaning business for owners who rented to skiers.

I went to a small church meeting on Sundays. Having to refuse the sacrament because of my disfellowship was difficult for me, because I truly cared about Christ’s sacrifice. I eventually was fellowshipped and able to go to the temple again…of course without them knowing everything about my past.

I decided to quit my business and move to St. George, Utah to go to college. I was working towards a nursing degree. I shared a home with a woman my age and we would go to single events. That’s where I met my ex-husband. I wasn’t sure my ex and I were a right fit, but I was so ready to have a home and a family of my own.

It was 2012 and I was 33 when we were married in the St George temple. My ex is a beautiful person. After a year, I was concerned we weren’t getting pregnant and we went and had him tested first because it was the easiest. We found out he couldn’t have children. This was hard on both of us.

We decided on helping with foster care. The young man was 14. I was a Young Women’s councilor for my ward at church, so it was good timing to be able to bring this young man with me to activities where he could make some friends.

My ex struggled a lot with fostering because I was working and going to school at the same time. He had some insecurities. I wasn’t balancing our relationship very well. It wasn’t ‘til his parents came and said they weren’t going to support this foster child, because my ex was so unhappy that I realized I had to let this child go back to the system. He was adoptable. I felt I had to choose my husband. I cried and cried the day I took this young man back. It was the closest I felt to being a mother. I do know he is fine now, raising his own ‘lil family, so I do have peace now… But I still cry from the experience.

I became depressed, nothing seemed important anymore. I started struggling with my grades at school, and started going to Mesquite, NV to gamble. It became an outlet for my depression. I became addicted to the gamble; it was fun, and it took my mind off my fucked-up life of unfortunate events. It was the main reason for my marriage ending because of the financial burden it caused. I couldn’t be the woman my ex needed nor wanted. I was losing love for him too. We amicably got a divorce in January 2016.

The fall of 2015 was the year I found the sealed portion of the Book of Mormon. I found The Sealed Portion online. I thought “That’s a pretty big claim for someone to say they translated The Sealed Portion.”

Not long into reading The Sealed Portion, I felt strongly that I’d been duped by religion. I was still married at the time and would read it out loud to my husband. It made sense to him too. Sadly, we were already struggling in our connection as husband and wife; this knowledge was still not enough to keep us together.

After reading about and viewing videos of Christopher, it did surprise me he was the one who translated The Sealed Portion. I didn’t doubt the power of the book, and how quickly my mind was changed about so many things. I continued to have an open heart and mind about Christopher.

I went to a get-together in Orem to meet Christopher and others who have embraced this work. It was a little awkward for me. I didn’t know anyone. I was surprised at the content of the meeting, and felt a little confused, because I really was just starting to have this new perspective.

After this, and after my divorce, I moved to Provo. I transferred to UVU to try and finish my schooling. Even though I was 36, I was able to get into shared housing, which is all I could afford. I also wanted to be closer to both Christopher and those who were on this journey of learning the work. I also had family in Springville, UT which was nice to have nearby.

I did feel a social awkwardness. I know now it was based on my own insecurities and experiences from my past. I wanted to feel close and comfortable with everyone, but I also felt like a fish out of water, maybe we all were experiencing this to some degree..?

I did get confused about the ways that were chosen to share the information of the work. The books and information found therein were always what kept me wanting to continue to follow this work. However, having the background that I had, not everything made sense. It seems to me now that there was a reason, and for me, it was to continue my own journey and not be bound to any group of people. Or at least that’s how I saw it at the time.

College became a bust for me. I already was nose-deep in student loans, and the cost of retaking classes, and cost of getting into a program was just too much. So I decided to quit. I would go to Wendover, NV on days off from time to time, or go with my sister-in-law who also liked to gamble. I found out it was cheap to live there and there were a lot of jobs. So I went seeking for a job, and was hired the same day.

I packed my things and moved there. It was the easiest move I’ve ever made. They had employee housing and I was able to rent a small studio apartment. I worked in the cage (where people cash their chips in) for the first year. I then, by the advice of a dear neighbor, transferred to blackjack dealing.

I did try to date again, but it was just not working out. I got to the point where I felt fine being single for the rest of my life. I moved to a two bedroom, two bathroom townhome and felt comfortable with my situation.

I then found out a girlfriend, a friend from my past when I lived in Challis, lost her son from Fentanyl. She invited me to the memorial, but I couldn’t make it. During the memorial, my friend asked me if she could give my number to my ex (first love from high school). I said sure and he and I began talking.

He was divorced, and he seemed unhappy. I invited him to Wendover, told him it was a soft place to land. So, after 25 years, we got back together. We moved to a rent-to-own singlewide manufactured home and have been together for almost three years.

I’ve continued to watch public videos and follow the Marvelous Work and a Wonder and read from the books over the years, and I want to say thank you to those who shared those videos. I’ve wanted to come to the Zoom meetings, but my schedule seemed to be my excuse. Also, the meetings weren’t public at the time, and I understood that a testimony was needed to be part of the Zoom meetings. I struggled to write a testimony because my life is so fucked up! I gave up writing a testimony and the next meeting after that it was made public. Timing… go figure😉

My boyfriend and I were struggling and treating each other badly. This was the catalyst that helped me to look into myself and start my own healing journey. I realized I was pointing the finger and blaming my man, my past, my history. I was becoming depressed with life and really didn’t care if I died. I started watching NDE videos on Facebook. I felt after watching so many, that there was this message from everyone’s story. The message for me was that we are ALL connected. I know this, and have known this throughout my life, but my pride and ego kept tripping me up.

I read the book, Suicide and the Eternal Nature of the Soul. After this, my world felt like it had made a shift—like a veil being lifted little by little and I’m seeing all the possibilities, not only for the outer world, but for the inner world within myself. It felt like that’s where it needed to start, but it can’t be done properly if I don’t cast out “Lucifer,” not an easy task. Pride and ego are so intertwined in our thoughts and actions.

I have now experienced some amazing things! I feel I’m understanding my past, my dreams, the people in my life. It all seems orchestrated for me to find this Marvelous Work and Wonder. I feel more clarity, like my eyes can see things that are meaningful to my own experience. I’m receiving new surprises (I call them gifts) every day in the littlest things, that make me smile. Most my insecurities have melted away…. ask me anything.

My conversations with others are more meaningful to me because I’m now able look outside myself and see them, because I feel more peace within. I even feel I can communicate better and navigate conversation to where there is peace. My mouth still fucks it up sometimes, but I can see and apologize for my misunderstanding more easily. I was definitely introverted, but now I feel different. I did my own regression healing as I walked in the desert behind my house; I learned to love myself.

I did go through a short breakup with my boyfriend, it just seemed like the more I was trying to heal, the angrier he became. I had to tell him I don’t belong to him. My life and body belong to me.

It’s hard to break the loops of codependency. I left him for a month and a half, I left everything to him. not planning on returning, just took the things I needed. He knew I would attend the Zoom meetings, but said it was a religious thing. He’s had nothing to do with religion all his life. He just felt he was losing me to religion and couldn’t accept that I was just trying to free myself from the controlling and toxic relationship we had. I served him like a mother, and I was trying to become an equal; that’s why he became angry. So, I had to leave.

I made the choice to return to him after a long discussion. His heart was more open, and I felt like I could be ME with him and give it another go. He accepts how important this work is to me, and that it will be a part of my life. Fingers crossed we both can find a fair balance in our relationship to where we both find joy together. I look at it as planting a new seed and hoping it can grow into something beautiful.

This work will always be a part of my life. No matter what we are, and why we exist as human beings, the message from this work will always be “To Love Thyself and Love and Treat Others with kindness and respect,” because we all have a story, a journey, an experience, and we exist.

I will end this by saying, “I don’t Know!”

That’s why I share my story; I’m here to learn. I’m grateful to be able to learn. I want to help by living day to day, implementing what I have learned from this work, in how to act. I’m not giving up on humanity or this planet. 🌏…as hopeless as it seems.

With love and gratitude to Christopher, The Real Illuminati, and all those who have helped make this work available to the world.

Krystal L.(Stocking) Monks

krystalmonks@gmail.com

1(435)429-9364