GROWING UP AS AN LDS NOT KNOWING ANYTHING ELSE
I was born into and raised as an LDS member. I have always tried to stay obedient to what the LDS Church calls the covenant path. However, there has always been an inner urge in me to understand the Mysteries of God. As a young boy and youth in the Church, I developed somewhat a close heartfelt bond to Joseph Smith Jr. As I read his story and about his life, I sensed even in my youth that there was something Joseph knew that no one else knew, but I had no clue what it was. His strength and character humbled me, and I developed a deep respect for him as a person. I sensed his loneliness and at times his despair as I tried to understand his story. When I tried to share my feelings and asking questions around his life, no one took me seriously and showed very little interest. I was left to ponder all this in my own mind and heart and seek knowledge on my own wherever I could find it. I also experienced that seminary, institute, Sunday school, general conferences, firesides, my full-time mission in England, all priesthood callings and all the programs I participated in, could not provide me with the ‘further light and knowledge‘ I was seeking. The Temple Endowment stood out to me as a great mystery even though I found it very beautiful in its outer form.
MY ENCOUNTER WITH THE SEALED PORTION
As my adult life transpired with having 5 children within a space of 10 years, pursuing a business career, fulfilling church callings, and trying to be everything to everyone – I came to the conclusion that this is not the real purpose of life. But I could not understand why it was not, so I stayed continuing playing my role.
In 2002 my first wife left me and the LDS Church to pursue her own happiness as she could not cope with all the ‘the busy work’ the Church demanded, and she lost whatever love she had developed for me as her husband. I realized that I could not fulfill her needs no matter how hard I tried. So I encouraged her to leave me as she would never find happiness in staying in her status quo. As she left, I was thrown into utter despair, and I cried my heart out for 6 months. I then desperately sought for answers and allowed myself to seek other sources. I discovered the Sealed Portion for the first time in 2004. I downloaded it but did not have the strength to start exploring it. I kept the digital copy on my personal hard drive until something which I cannot explain prompted me to start reading it again. It happened when I was hospitalized with a serious pancreas inflection back in spring 2015, in which I nearly died.
The foreword penned by Christopher about how he had offered the Sealed Portion to the General Authorities of the LDS Church caught my interest as I sensed a great honesty in the way he related his story. It also perplexed me that the leaders so bluntly and adamantly rejected his offer. I became curious.
The opening chapters about the brother of Jared really caught my interest and I felt something. Answers to some of the questions I had had during my life was suddenly answered. When the book started to condemn the ‘Church of the Latter-Days’, I experienced an immediate cognitive dissonance. The section which deemed homosexuality to not be a sin, ignited that dissonance even more, but alongside this increasing dissonance, I experienced a great influx of light and illumination which I could not explain in words. I just felt a great sense of peace and understanding that I had never felt before. My mind kind of sprung open and it felt as good fruit. However, as I pressed on reading, the cognitive dissonance increased proportionally with the influx of peace and light. As I wept on several occasions due to this positive illumination that opened my mind and filled my soul with understanding, gratitude, and humility, I found myself weeping from time to time due to the dark dissonance that I felt. I was in real agony, yet at the same time feeling an incredible peace and understanding.
As I had read halfway through the Sealed Portion, the influx of pure light, understanding and peace overcame the agony that I had felt. When I had completed the book, the cognitive dissonance and agony was nearly completely gone. I knew that a new inner life for me had begun, upon which there was no return.
THE MYSTERIES OF GOD UNFOLD AND ARE ANSWERED
I now wanted more and realized there were more books available. I downloaded the ‘Sacred, not Secret‘. I decided to make it a personal study due to my deep yearning to understand the temple endowment. This book made my mind wide open and everything I had been taught in my entire Church life fell into place and made complete sense.
I studied it again and again and started to listen to Christopher’s podcasts, downloading, and reading everything that was written.
I read the ‘666 – The Mark of America – Seat of the Beast’ and ‘Human Reality’ books with great interest and could not stop until I finished them. When I found the ‘Humanity Party’ platform, I downloaded every page, read, and studied them in depth. I did my mathematical calculation seen from an economic, political and legal point of view and discovered that the platform with its principles was sound and would actually work perfectly under a correct government model in any economy and would be fair for everyone. It would liberate and enable every human being. When I linked the “Humanity Party’ platform up to the ‘666 – The Mark of America – Seat of the Beast’ book, it all became clear to me what the Jesus story was all about – it now all made sense! Reading the two first books of the Trilogy has just added to my understanding and today I have embraced Real Truth® and have found the treasures that I have always been seeking.