Leslie Nelson

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This is a current picture: After Christopher:

This picture is Before Christopher:

 

My personal story about my life, how I came to know and believe this work.

I was raised in a poor Mormon family, but I didn’t know that I was poor. My parents provided for our physical needs as best they could. There was little affection showed to us children by our parents, but I did not know that. We went to the Mormon Church fairly regularly as that was the religion of both parents. My parents were staunch Mormons, so we grew up with that indoctrination in our lives. My dad moved us around a lot as he sought after better jobs. When I was a junior in high school, we ended up in San Luis Obispo, California. The Church taught us that young men should serve the Lord by going on a mission. After graduating from high school, I made it known that I wanted to go on a mission, because I wanted to serve the Lord and bring souls to Him. Little did I know that I knew very little, but, I wanted to serve the Lord. I was ready but really didn’t know for what. I wanted to take the message of truth to everyone, and I thought that everyone wanted to know the truth. My thoughts have changed considerably since then.

I was called to the Southeast Mexican Mission in 1964. It stretched from the northern part of the state of Veracruz, over to Puebla, down to Oaxaca, to Tapachula, Chiapas, around Guatemala to the Caribbean to Yucatan. My first place of service was Tizimin, Yucatan. My first companion didn’t like to get up and work (tract). I figured that I wasn’t going to waste my time, so I started reading, in Spanish, the one book I’d never looked into: the Doctrine and Covenants. Very difficult read, boring, repetitive, some very inspiring verses, and new ‘knowledge’. This was the beginning of my search for truth. I continued reading, throughout my mission, the BOM, Old Testament, New Testament, Pearl of Great Price, and every book the Mission Home in Mexico City had for sale to the members on history of the Church: Jesus the Christ, A Marvelous Work and a Wonder, Articles of Faith and many more, all in Spanish (to learn the language and something more). I eventually served in 6 other places, baptized a total 7 people, and wondered why I didn’t baptize a lot of people. There didn’t seem to be many people searching for the truth that I had to offer them. Actually, in hind sight, there weren’t a lot of people searching for the truth. But for me, I was finding out many things, albeit not finding out how to win friends and influence people. I found out about myself and things that I needed to correct in my life, I found a new feeling for ‘time’, and it seemed as though it did not exist. What a revelation! I gained a new perspective of life, but couldn’t put all the new pieces together to bring me satisfaction. But I did meet the woman who would eventually become my wife. I was not very charismatic but rather strict and a stickler for the law, uprightness and righteousness. (as if I really knew what they were, from a future perspective.) My mission was the beginning of my search for truth, and hopefully, eternal truth.

Within 4 months of my return from my mission, I was in the US Army. Like from heaven to hell. I continued to read the scriptures, especially the D&C and BoM. I was learning to control my body and mind. Oh, how hard it seemed to be! I detested basic training and endured advanced training, but I must have had some good qualities as they placed me in a leadership position, or was it my intelligence scores? I was soooo emotionally immature. I really did suffer from poor self esteem, yet I kept moving forward, and still searching for the truth that would bring me peace of mind and soul. After advanced training as a medic, I was shipped to Fort Rucker, AL. Upon deplaning, I and a few others were pulled aside and asked if we would like to change our MOS to office clerk, rather than end up on field patrol as a medic in Vietnam. How sweet they were to persuade us. I obviously accepted the offer and made myself at home in the barracks, at work, and engaged in Mormon activities. There, I learned what it was like to disobey the promptings of the Holy Spirit, how to repent from the awful emptiness of disobedience, and how to interact with a son of a Fundamentalist Mormon as I learned about plural marriage that was not sadistic but with multiple homes. I ate it up, but never found myself involved except for aspirations. I was waiting for someone special, to me, real special. I interviewed for OCS but failed because of emotional immaturity (my call, from the future). I really wasn’t ready to be a leader. I did end up in Vietnam, but on my way there I met the special one. While in Vietnam, I discovered that my special one, wasn’t. What a letdown. Still in Vietnam, I realized, shortly before preparing to go back home, that I had left my real special one in Mexico. I still had not found that inner peace and maturity that I longed for. I had hopes that my future marriage would give me a little of what my spirit hungered for.

After Vietnam, I journeyed to Mexico to tell my future wife that we were getting married. That’s right, I knew we should be married and told her so. But she had to get baptized first. Nine months latter we were married in the Los Angeles Temple. Me, my bride, my mother, and my younger brother were in attendance. I never saw a big wedding until my wife’s cousins in Mexico City got married. Yes, within a year of our marriage we were living in Puebla, Puebla, Mexico. I graduated from the University of the Americas, in Cholula, Puebla, three years later. Officially, I was educated. Except that I hadn’t learned the ways of the world, but I thought, innocent me, that the world would forgive my ignorance and welcome me with open arms.(on their terms only)[I still fight for my morsel because I can’t love the process of loving money and making money.]{but I do. Where is real happiness?} We lived in Mexico 7 years, welcomed 2 boys and a girl into the world, lived, loved, fought each other, fought for life and happiness, worked to build the Church, saw the frailties of man(especially in the Church) and wrestled with our own. Still, I believed the Church to be true, but there sure were a lot of incongruence’s. And where were all the people that were seeking perfection and eternal happiness? How close was I to eternal happiness? We endured until I saw that our poor life style was going downhill too fast. I looked for a place back in the USA that would afford us a better life style. Yes, I wanted more of the better “things” of life. But when you’ve never been “rich”, something better than you’ve known is ‘the good life’. And we were accustomed to living within our budget. We left Mexico to end up in Edinburg, Texas and enter the ranks of oil field work.

My first job in the oil field lasted 1 year and three months. I didn’t expect it to last too long, only to establish us in the USA. It was a hard time being out of work and nowhere to go, bills to pay, and a new baby on the way. We endured the news that our new born son had a heart defect, needed an open heart surgery to correct it, and that he may not live through the operation and that we must keep him alive until he’s at least two years old. I finally found another job, in another oil field service company; we rebuilt our lives; were active in Church; loved the missionaries and had them over many times and on occasion the whole district. I began subtlely to suggest that plural marriage was something that we should be living along with the law of consecration in a United Order setting, but didn’t know how to implement it and did not push it. I had my doubts about how to live it in these modern times. There was fiery opposition to these ideas. Why were these things introduced as doctrine and we were not trying to live them? Why the opposition to truth? Absent in our Church instruction were the actual words of Christ and the desire to abide by them. This is an observation at this point, but the real words of Christ were a concern to me because they were a beacon to my goals of betterment and a source of sorrow for my inability to live them perfectly. Still, I struggled on, not really finding peace and happiness. About 2 years into my second job (back in the oil field again) in Texas, the opportunity arose to work in Villahermosa, Tabasco, Mexico, commuting to and from my home in South Texas. I was a dedicated worker in this new environment and even assisted the Church in the area. I became aware of some of the influential people where I worked through interactions and the workings of the business I was involved in. It was all new to me, and I was looked up to as a minor leader because of my work responsibilities and because I was working for a big American company, equating to prestige in this world. In reality, I was still naive and unaware of the way people of the world view things. But I endured well the attention. Ego present. I remember my interactions with the Stake President of the area and my work within the Church; a few of the people with whom I worked, male and female; a few of the people where I was out in the public and private places. Good memories are what I have even that some happenings were not meant for ‘good’. I was transferred to California after 5 1/2 years, to see if I could cope with a vicious work environment. I couldn’t. My managerial aptitude said I could, but my spirit didn’t know how to deal with the hate, envy, and ego in the world. Still doesn’t. I was laid off after about 9 1/2 years with the company. I had the expectation of retiring from the company, but my faith in mammon was not well founded. I had put my faith and trust into the world, and I was rewarded according to the strength of the foundation, loose sand in an earthquake. I sank into despair and depression. Didn’t know what that was until years later. About this time or a little later I became aware of the patriot movement(s). No one really had a handle on the whole picture, but many had a handle on part of it. Taxes were being unlawfully levied. I bought into it and tried to learn all that I could. At that time I began working jobs that did not last very long and did not pay very well, at least not for me, married with 4 kids, one of which was an invalid most of the time. Around 1996 someone figured out how to live the law of consecration and let me in on the knowledge. I was surprised and overjoyed. I spoke to my family about it but they, being adults and very knowledgeable (?), scoffed at the idea and accused me of wanting to live off their earnings.(The young and low paid) In 1996 I registered the United Order Under God and proceeded to learn how difficult it was to live it under present day laws. I took a vow of poverty and gave title to all I own to the UOUG. At the same time I continued battling through legal writings with the IRS, and not getting anywhere. I did find a company that would honor my paperwork to live under the UOUG. No questions asked. That job ended when the rains came. After that there were 3 more companies that didn’t know how to deal with the UOUG, but then in 2002 one accepted me, and finally got around to inquiring with the IRS. Yes, what I was doing was correct but I needed to also submit a copy of the IRS registration to the company to prove the instructions. Now, sometime around 2010 I was instructed in the way to file IRS forms to zero out all the liabilities that the IRS had heaped on me. I accepted their paper for value, and returned it to them. Simple? No, I’m not supposed to know those things nor how to file. I prepared one set of forms and mailed them to the IRS. They disappeared, never received, never registered as received. Once I figured out their game, I prepared another set, in duplicate, went to their physical office and personally handed them their copies, and asked them to date stamp every piece of my filing. I knew it was going to audit. It did, and I got a letter informing me of such and then the results; everything passed. By then I had started receiving SS, and shortly after I was notified that my filing passed audit, I received a call from the IRS. They wanted to know if all I earned was SS, to which I said yes. They were not about to admit that my filing was correct and pretended it hadn’t happened. They said that since I had no assets, they would send me a reminder every December and stop sending me their continued letters. I thought that was fine because I was tired of fighting them, I was all alone, and had no money to contest their decision.

I began to live a little bit in peace, but that was short lived. One of my daughters-in-law convinced all of my family that I was a child molester, my sons accused me of leading them astray in many ways (like living the laws that Abraham lived and the law of consecration). My daughter and my daughters-in-law kidnapped my wife, left my youngest son at home, and took my wife to #2 son’s home and left me a note telling me that I had made some poor choices. (same daughter-in-law that made the accusation) My son called me to tell me to come get my wife. I told him to keep her. As far as I was concerned, if she could fall for the accusation, he could keep her. He later returned her to our house full of pride and not willing to apologize, but accepting me as her head. Because of her pride, I knew she was somewhat complicit and did not want her back. I finally accepted her back, knowing that this was going to take a while to recover from. My Bishop received letters from my oldest sons and daughter and one daughter-in-law. The instigating daughter-in-law surprisingly wrote nothing, letting her husband do the explaining. Since the letters of accusation were sent to my Bishop instead of to me, I was called in to speak to my Bishop. He asked me for my temple recommend, interviewed me, and went forward with his investigation. I asked him what I had really done wrong. I confessed to being very strict, and he was not ignorant of what is in the scriptures and knew that I was strict about the laws of God. I left him to think about the case. Unbeknownst to my accusers, the Bishop already knew that I had created the United Order Under God. The next that we shared anything about the case was the day he was released as Bishop; he returned my temple recommend, the letters of accusation and said no more. As for my family, to include my mother and a brother, they were elated that I had a Bishop’s court, but totally ignored the fact that I was not found guilty, as accused, of wrong doing. No one, to date, has apologized for the incident. Yes, I am still guilty of being a natural man, full of weakness and error, and still yearning to live unto God, His way. My biggest error has been to try to share what little light I had gained with those who have/had no desire to know. Still a problem, but I do it in a less obvious manner, in most cases, and do not pursue any sharing beyond one follow up.

Prior to this family incident, I had been hired by a company that accepted my living under the law of consecration, though with reservations. They eventually called the IRS and they confirmed that all was correct. I worked this job until I had a gallstone/bladder removal operation, then semiretirement until I had a work related shoulder accident, which almost coincided with me finding the MWAW.

I found the MWAW quite by accident. I was following up on a lead that one of my cousins gave me on YouTube, and there in the ‘other’ videos was one about Ida Smith. It caught my eye and I began investigating. Like a blood hound on to something I tried to find Christopher and talk to him or communicate with him, but he was avoiding me and everyone else, and he even wrote a post about not wanting to communicate with anyone, and that everyone would be better off to read the books. Ok, be that way! So I found where to buy the books and ordered what seemed to be the three biggest ones, and read them. I now have the complete published set, and am presently reading Human Reality, mainly because there’s nothing more to read on the MWAW, which was more interesting than this last read. The books speak for themselves and confirm all that I had learned before, and more, revealing that I didn’t know very much, which I already suspected but had no actual proof. During this lull, I’ll read the books, comply with the consecration, again, which in causing me difficulty in finding the legal way to change my fealty, not so much to Christopher and to the Real Truth and his message. It will be done as soon as I can find the missing paper. The problem? Presently I legally own nothing, so I’m searching for the legal way to have something to consecrate. Remember that UOUG? I’m ahead of the curve and behind on the correct direction. My family? They gave up on me long ago and just tolerate me because I’m their father and husband, a weird maverick.

At present, I’m in retirement mode: Soc. Sec, VA benefits; a large bank account, (for me from my poor man’s reckoning) which is not mine but which I administer, 2 vehicles not registered to me which I am in charge of; SSI benefits I receive for my mentally and physically challenged son, and a wife of 50+ years.

I don’t know about retirement. I had my gall bladder and a large gall stone removed the first year, I had a rotator cuff muscle severed the second year, and I’m in the second year of recovery from the surgery to re-attach the rotator cuff muscle. All my time in Vietnam is now being rewarded with agent orange after- effects (and I was never out in the forests, just on the base that handled the stuff). I keep exercising so that rigor mortis does not set in before its time.

To me, the transition to the MWAW has been relatively{?} painless since I’ve already gone through some of the pain of total betrayal and do not care how my family feels the pain of me joining a “cult”, if that be possible. I believe that deserve the pain I’ve felt or will feel. It’s a small price to pay for Real Truth.

This Picture is After Christopher

After Chris

What has changed? Everything. After being shut down a few times with a few words, and a bunch more, I started listening, and learning, little by little. I didn’t get where I am at present with big changes all at once. The past is past, I do not need to retell it, or relive it. I’ve never learned anything by hanging onto the past. My life and memories in the Mormon Church are many and varied. I used to think I knew something, but I’ve been shown that I don’t. I feel what Chris has felt trying to teach the truth to those who’s minds are not open, but in a much smaller way. I’ve hinted for years of the truths in the Bible and Book of Mormon, just to be ignored, and shunned. But Chris has spoken the truth, and has been booed to derision, and worse. I didn’t get involved with MWAW to be part of ‘the group’. I follow because I want it to be part of me and me part of it. Not just words, but whole heart & soul. I want to see the world just as the RI does. That means that I have a lot to learn. Change is still a part of my life. Ida Smith knew these things, and lived them. And my sadness because of the world is real, and I’m learning that we’ve all contributed to our downfall.

[Well, Covid changed many past problems and in essence eliminated a problem in this history that had arisen and subsided so I have deleted it.]

Update: Due to Covid, our ‘eternal family’ is currently going through a crises due to #2 son’s wife. She has lost her happiness and is currently considering divorce after many years of marriage, and separation since October of 2020 (Now into 2021 it’s a definite divorce). If it were true that families are forever, our eternal families are not living ‘celestially’, so how can we expect to have a celestial marriage? The Church really has no say in this expectation, beyond creating the lie. And I bought into the lie. Little did I know that I did not know. I’m now in the process of readjusting my life, and expectations, to conform to Real Truth.

In a recent Coffee with Chris episode, he mentioned something about death where we would feel peace and that time would cease to exist and we would see or experience a disconnect from the world we had known as we entered our new, yet old, sphere of existence.

His words resonated with me because on my mission I experienced a peace that seemed to extend into eternity, but I never experienced death. All I remember is that I was disconnected from feelings about time in that there was no longer a remorse of going to sleep and awakening the next day. It was as though all was just a continuation of life with no interruption in life or time. I still feel that way and take life as it comes and ebbs, as long as I don’t let my mortal emotions and feelings take control. Oh, the weakness of being mortal!

Addendum to prior post (November 12, 2023)

I’m writing this because I accept Christopher as my True Messenger and I cannot stop watching his presentations even on a delayed schedule. I accept his teachings on a delayed basis because nothing he presents seems to stay in my conscious memory long enough to repeat it to someone else. I believe that it is by constant mind refreshing that I am able to change my behavior subconsciously over time, and feel a change in my attitude and consequently my actions. I thank him for allowing me this opportunity to change for the better. I was unable to write these things when I first became aware of the MWAW because I was unable to put my thoughts together. I hope I have learned, and am learning, to be a little more useful as a human being to others of my species even in small ways. I recognize that I am still full of pride and many weaknesses, but as long as I am a mortal I must accept these attributes without remorse. I still follow the MWAW.

As I contemplate my life since coming in contact with the MWAW, my life has changed. From the moment that I came in contact with Ida Smith’s excommunication testimonials, I have been captivated by the whole MWAW scenario. I thought I had discovered what I was searching for, for many years. I thought I had discovered a reason to justify saying that the LDS Church was not true.

Well, I had discovered more than that. I discovered the answers to many questions that I had acquired from my reading the Book of Mormon many times without understanding what I was reading. But I didn’t realize that I didn’t understand much of anything. I was much like a goat, searching to consume anything that looked to be nutritious for my soul.

To restart my story, I was born into a staunch, Mormon family that extends back through many pioneer generations. I grew up believing, but I doubted the true sincerity of my ancestors and their contemporaries. This is going to be unusual because as I profess belief, there is some doubt in what I write. This is because of my own disbelief when things don’t agree 100% with what I believe about everything I’m told. Yes, I’m a disbeliever until I’m absolutely sure. Even though I had testified of the truth, in my heart there was doubt, because I did not have a knowledge of all the truth I needed.

I don’t remember when I did not believe, but what did I believe? As a child, I don’t recall having a problem believing anything I was told. But as I entered the age where the youth were challenged to read the scriptures, I took it upon myself to read the scriptures for myself so that I could know for myself. Before I left on my mission, I had read the Book of Mormon twice. This does not mean I knew what I had read beyond the basic, simple, storyline. I did defend the plurality of wives because I believed when lived in a Godlike way, it was a correct principle that would make one grow spiritually. For one who knew next to nothing of God’s ways, that was a big “Really!!!?” But I believed! If I didn’t know, I believed! I started my mission reading the Doctrine & Covenants in Spanish, as I had never read the book before. To my belief, I added more Doctrine, in another language, until I had devoured the D&C, Pearl of Great Price, Old Testament, New Testament, and finally the Book of Mormon. It never occurred to me that someone could go through their mission without reading the four standard works so they would have some understanding about where Church doctrine comes from. The conversation I had with myself was this: “Come to think of it, I still don’t know where some Church doctrine comes from, and I’ve read the scriptures. Did I miss something? Maybe, but I’ll catch it down the road.” “Really?” “Of course! This is the true Church, the only one. Why would it not be true? We have the Book of Mormon!” (Well, time would later reveal the truth.)

After my mission, I continued my life, searching for my eternal companion and formulating a plan to get an education. Since my life started from humble beginnings, there would be no help from parents or siblings. So I was pretty much on my own, with only my wits to guide me.

I returned from my mission to life when there was conflict in Vietnam and the draft was being used to fill the ranks of the armed forces. As a dutiful citizen, but not willing to engage in conflict, I volunteered for the draft so as to only serve 2 years. I did not expect to serve in combat, but I was sent to become a trained medic (sure way to get into combat). I did not think much about it. As soon as I got off the plane at my first work assignment, I was pulled out of the group I was in and asked if I would be willing to work in an office environment (no prior training), to which I said, “Yes,” as that got me out of consideration for combat.

But that did not keep me from my beliefs, nor the consequences, as my beliefs (actions) followed me. It just so happened that I was put to work in “Transfer Point,” which was where soldiers were returned to civilian life. At their exit interview, I had the opportunity to exercise my beliefs, so I asked them the “Golden Questions,” which I no longer remember. When word got back to Washington, D.C., with 11 months to go in my stint in the Army, I was informed that I was going to Vietnam. “What?” A normal tour was a minimum of 1 year. Well, short story, I went to Vietnam for 7 months and 5 days. I never entered into combat, and my stint in Vietnam relieved me of the duty to be in the active reserves.

My beliefs were still intact, or so I thought. My personal beliefs didn’t seem to follow Church beliefs, as I was reading and retaining some of the thoughts and ideas that I picked up from reading the scriptures. Though they didn’t follow what I thought should be Church doctrine, they remained in my mind with question marks and doubts, to be addressed when I had further knowledge, of which I knew I did not have sufficient.

While in Vietnam, I had a vision (had to be, cuz I’d never dreamed or envisioned what I saw in my mind). This most beautiful woman in brilliant white was one that I met before I left for Vietnam, and I was told that I would marry her. I wrote to her and proposed to her. I never heard from her again until I was about to leave Vietnam. That was a little too late, as I had since arranged to marry someone I met on my mission, quite different from what I had envisioned.

When I received the dream woman’s last letter, before I opened the letter, I knew that she had accepted my proposal (but she had not been faithful), but I knew that if I were to marry her, we would end up divorced within 5 years. Again, not what I envisioned. “Why???” I leave this question unanswered, as I still do not know the answer. I married a woman from my mission almost a year after I left the Army, and have been married for 54 years.

The past years have not been easy years, because my mind was not fixed on a fixed doctrine, and I jumped around from idea to idea like a hungry goat looking for something nourishing to eat and satisfy his soul. Still, my beliefs were somewhat still intact, but not anchored.

About 6 years ago, mid-2017, I became aware of Christopher Nemelka, an enigma in my mind, because I had not met him earlier. Had I met him earlier, I probably would not have followed his teachings because he was not following the “Real Truth.” But what did I know about “Real Truth” back then? I was following what he taught because of the excommunication of Ida Smith, someone I admired because she stood up for “The Sealed Portion,” which I had to read, along with all the other books that Christopher had written.

My beliefs were beginning to crumble. The first thing that crumbled was the idea of plural marriage. Gone. I don’t remember in what order, but having all things in common (4 Nephi) was something I had always admired as being Christlike; the Sermon on the Mount in 3 Nephi was something I remember, but do not remember the Church ever emphasizing or even teaching; that Christ actually did not, nor ever did, exist; that Christ’s teachings were taken from a man named Inpendius from the century before Christ was to have come to the earth; that the book of Revelation was to be unfolded; and many, many other things I can’t recall at this moment.  My beliefs were crumbling very fast.

One thing that did not crumble was my knowledge of Christopher, what a good person he is. In my pride, I challenged Christopher to see if I actually had the where-with-all to be a good person. Twice I failed miserably in ways that I found totally unacceptable, to me; I found myself totally weak where I had no idea I was corrupt. But Christopher did not abandon me to my own weaknesses. I don’t know if he was testing me again or giving me an opportunity to discover something about myself.

 

He sometimes talks about things that can serve to try or tempt a guy, or maybe a gal, by talking about a special garment … to remove any inhibitions that may be attached thereto, just to see how one would react. Sometimes he speaks of different people and shows a picture of an example person. Sometimes he mentions something that appears rather hideous to the mind that could cause one to take offense, though it would not be so if it were observed by a child.

 

Leslie James Nelson

lnelson8@bak.rr.com

edited & resubmitted Feb 2021

addendum added Nov 2023

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