Jean Stephensen

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Hello. My name is Jean Crystal Stephensen. I was born October 1970, in Illinois. We moved to Utah when I was two. I grew up in Brigham City, a very Mormon community.

I grew up with a big family. I was the seventh of nine children. My mom was the oldest of seven kids. She kept everything. Our home was a hoarder home.  My dad worked on computers in his spare time. He was an engineer. He liked to be alone and do his own thing, away from the family. He was the oldest of three.

My life revolved around church and family. We would sing songs in Primary about the temple and being together with our families forever. I always wanted a big family. But I felt alone and scared at times when some family members would touch me and make me feel uncomfortable. I never told my parents because they had enough on their plate with a big family.

I got married young, 17, right after high school, to Todd, who was seven years older than me. Yes, he had gone on a mission, and I thought my life would be a fairy tale because I’d married a returned missionary.  I had my first baby when I was 18 and every two years, I would have another baby. We had seven in all — five girls and two boys. As a young mother, I believed that I could read the scriptures and say my prayers, pay my tithing and go to the temple and I would be happy; but I started feeling very overwhelmed.

After 18 years of marriage, I started to have trauma memories come up, and I was looking for answers on how to heal from this. I started looking into self-help books. I got into some energy work. I felt very broken. Shortly thereafter, in 2004, I could see that I no longer wanted to be married or go to church, and I knew that my husband loved the church. I did not want to hurt him because I no longer was going to be a part of it. I wanted him happy and I knew that the church made him happy, but I was very confused and scared to walk away from my family, the church, and everything I’d ever known. I asked for a divorce.

We shared custody of the kids. My baby was three and my oldest daughter was 16. I really had to do some soul-searching when it came to the divorce. I didn’t want to hurt my ex-husband or the kids, but I felt like I just needed to leave. I wanted to take the kids, but I knew that my husband would have said I was crazy because he believed I was listening to Satan. So, I just had to let go of the children, stay in their life, and let them know I love them. I wanted them to have a stable life with their dad.

I got involved with a polygamist/polyamorous group for three years. All it did was feed my ego and teach me that when men think they have power, they abuse it for their own good. I was there for three years and then I left and moved home back to Brigham City to help my mom.

I threw out all my scriptures. I didn’t believe in God or Satan. I could only trust myself. One of my friends from the group I was in called me and told me about a website and that The Sealed Portion had been translated. I wasn’t familiar with The Sealed Portion because I hadn’t studied the Book of Mormon.

I got on the website and looked at all of the books. Human Reality, who we are and why we exist! made so much sense to me that all I could do was cry through it. I love that book. I did finish all the books that were available in 2010, and I have since read all the new books and continue to read them all over again.

I had a boyfriend for seven years who was overwhelmed with life. He overdosed and died. Life got very hard for me because, after he was gone, I had a lot of bills. I was working two jobs, trying to keep up, and I felt overwhelmed. Having this work, yet not implementing it in my life, I got to a point where I just wanted out. My ex-husband had just gotten married, the kids had a mother, and I felt like I could leave this world. I looked into ways of taking my life, and I planned it. I had written notes for each one of my kids, letting them know it wasn’t their fault, it was just something I needed to do. And I had a long-distanced relationship with a friend that I just couldn’t do any more.

Before ending my life, I felt impressed to see a movie. It had a dragon in it, and every time I’d see the dragon, I just kept thinking of the book: 666, The Mark of America—Seat of the Beast. So, even though I had made plans to leave this world, I kept feeling like I couldn’t do it until I read, in the 666 book, the definition of the dragon. And as I read it, I realized the reason I wanted to leave this world. It was because I wouldn’t ask for help and my pride and ego were blinding me. This dragged me down to the point of just wanting to leave this world.

As I realized this, and continue to read the 666 book again, it changed my life. I no longer wanted to leave this world because of my pride and ego. This work has truly saved my life in many ways, and continues to.

I found myself without a home, living in a shelter for a couple of weeks, in 2023. Listening to Coffee with Chris in the morning was the only thing keeping me grounded and motivated.

Now, it is 2024 and I continue to read the books. I also listen to weekly church meetings from The True Church of the Lamb of God, of the Marvelous Work in a Wonder®. I am receiving a deeper knowledge and understanding of life through this church.

Thank you for taking the time to read my story. I’ve included my number and my email. I welcome anyone to call me.

 

Jean Stephensen

801-755-5369

jeanstephensen48@gmail.com

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