Hello, My name is Jhamia, I am 21 years old. I don’t even know where to start.
I always seek abundance of knowledge because I love to learn. I love the feeling I get when I come to life and my reality changes based on what I know and it really determines who I am from all I know. All I know is what I’ve learned so far. I have gone through many epiphanies is a short period of time. Over the past couple of years, I can say a lot of things have been revealed to me that we learned to be “bad” or “evil” teachings as the actual truth. To mask us and label us with religion(s). From instinct, my natural conscious mind has an urge to do well and steer away from bad energy. So I cleaved onto what i felt would help me achieve being a righteous person.
The truth is slowly approaching me from many different ways. Each time I learn a new lesson, I hear it out in the world, it always seems to come back to me in the most bland times of my life, and I get excitement all over again.
I started my journey as a young kid, my beliefs wasn’t based on any religion, all I knew was God, church, and a book titled “the holy bible”. It all had no deep meaning to me because I didn’t know why these things where important to know and I didn’t know how to learn. For a long time it was that way until as a teenager, 14/15 years old, i was then introduced to the Hebrew Israelite community.
Being a Hebrew Israelite, I was happy to feel “special” or “chosen” but the reality was, I didn’t. I felt belittled and convicted for not being able to instantly convert. I was taught that once I received the knowledge of a true Hebrew, that I would have to face bigger judgment INSTANTLY upon gaining tht knowledge, and that any “conscience“ Hebrew was too advanced to mess up in life. And was held accountable for every single flaw we had. It felt good to learn but wrong in a conflicting way. I felt as if I wasn’t being a proper woman, worried about following all of the laws and traditions, worried about the men and relationships because we were told that we should submit ourselves completely to men alongside sister wives if that’s what they desired for us. We was told that if we did every single thing perfectly then God wouldn’t be mad at us and that he would love us more than other races, and that we would gain a righteous beautiful kingdom for being perfect. But in reality, those expectations were unrealistic! I felt both women and men were both being misled and belittled. We would bash our own people for not knowing “truth” or for not trying to, and I understand now because it was forced upon others who didn’t want to believe those theories. The whole idea of loving and knowing God was then barley relevant to the community, but they were too blind to notice because they were trying to follow the physical laws rather than trying to figure out who exactly God was.
I refused and refused and denied the fact that the Hebrew community was hurting me, until one day, it was confirmed how the teachings and ways of the Hebrew Israelites were just another religion from those who were once part of the same Hebrew group as me! My mind was blown away, I instantly was excited to receive more information after that because I thought that I would spend the rest of my life walking on eggshells.
Although, the teachings were off, I still learned from those experiences, and that’s why I continue on with this journey. That curiosity, then led me to a group of “elite” learners, who where very profound in their drive to have true consciousness. This is where I was introduced to The Sealed Portion. They were beautiful, the best learnings I had so far. But still, I felt conflicted because of the fact that someone was leading me rather than me learning independently, properly and strategically. And after going through that for a couple months I just felt “unworthy” or “undisciplined” and had left the group. Months later one of my good sisters had reach out and once again, confirmed that I should not have felt that way, and that it’s more to this life than what we thought to be once again. And although I haven’t really been very focused, I always want to learn, it’s in my heart as a desire to know, to feel, to not be confused and lost. Life is short, and I seek true peace and freedom EARLY ON in my life so that I can live and learn in abundance! I feel that I am a light, a God, and a learner. I am ready to embrace whatever it is that I may be.
Honestly I don’t think I have an option to stop seeking information, knowledge gravitates towards me and always seem to find me when I’m “hiding” or is unfocused. I have come to terms that I have been taught many different things, I am willing to relearn step by step, why I was put here and whats right and what’s wrong. I still hear of a lot of new information that fits right into the puzzle of the bigger picture. I know I know a lot, which is really nothing compared to what’s to learn. I’m ready to put the full picture together, life itsself cannot teach me in this next phase I am entering.
Jhamia
(314) 668-4268 (WhatsApp)
j11212001@gmail.com
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